Parents DO Miss Their Grown-Up Children
Posted on Sunday, 20 May 2012 and filed under Genevieve Tan Shu Thung , Holistic Lifestyle and Family , Tey Sze Chze , . You can follow any responses to this entry through theRSS 2.0 . You can leave a response or trackback to this entry from your site
Little children often complain that their parents spend too much time at work instead of paying attention on their emotional needs. However, when children grow up, they fail to realise that they too begin to ignore their parents during their teenage years when they prefer to hang out with some other ‘cooler’ people around their age. From then on, this becomes a habit.
As they grow older and start working, lesser time is spent at home, which could lead to a family communication breakdown.
There was an interesting article published in a Malaysian magazine recently, which calculates the amount of time one has left to spend with their parents. The equation is as follows:
(The remaining years your parents are expected to live) X (Days you usually spend your time with your parents per year) X (The number of hours one will spend with their parents per day) = Total hours left
For example, let’s say you estimate that your parents have another 20 years to live and you visit them twice per month (2 hours per visit), you will have:-
20 X 24 X 2 = 960 hours, which is equivalent to 40 days.
If the above example is true (which we know is applicable to many families today), despite parents having another 20 years to live, children only spend 40 days with them in total!
The body is not permanent. Children have to remember that parents will depart from their bodies one day, and when that day comes, they will start grieving over their passing. Many children take it for granted that they can always see their parents ‘later’. Why not spend more time with them instead of regretting later when nothing can be done to turn the clock back? If you want to appreciate your parents, appreciate them now! This is your chance!
Some children, especially in Asia, even grow up without having any deep conversations with their parents regarding life.
Many children these days are social creatures. They seek to blend into social circles as they become adults. Especially for those who move away from home either for studies or for work, they usually overlook the importance of keeping in touch with their parents. How difficult is it to just give a phone call home to ask your parents how they are coping back home, or how their day was? Some children say that they avoid doing this because there simply is “nothing to talk about”, so they prefer not to call or even visit their parents. If one does not attempt to break the barrier, the wall will only continue building as one becomes older.
There are so many ways to ensure that family communication remains open and that there are no walls within a family relationship. For adult children who are married, bringing your very own children along your visits can form a very strong tie with your own parents. Which grandparent does not like to see their grandchildren from time-to-time? The innocence of a child can not only brighten up their day, but also allows all adults (including you) to have a common topic of conversation. These topics can range from selecting the best brand for diapers to schooling techniques.
The phrase “spending time with your parents” does not limit to only paying personal visits. A short telephone call can equally be effective to show your concern and appreciation of their existence in your life. Other than that, sending a greeting card on special occasions could also brighten up their day and make them feel loved.
As technology is now very advanced, children can also use the opportunity to stay connected more closely with their parents. Teaching parents how to use electronic communication tools (eg. smartphones or iPad) is also considered a good bonding opportunity. Research suggests that learning sessions and exploring new things help build strong family bonds.
When parents finally get the idea on how to utilise an e-communication method, not only one can spend more time with their parents even when living far apart from each other, it is also easier for parents to understand and appreciate the current lifestyle of their own children and grandchildren.
There is no good reason why one cannot spend their time with their parents when parents have taken so much effort and time to bring you up! Youngsters these days seem to have time for everyone else except their parents.
Although children may have plenty of ideas in mind that they want to do for them, they never really get down to doing it. After their parents depart from the world, the children then realise that nothing was done and that is when regret sets in. It will be too late to show your respect to your own parents even if you spend thousands of dollars to hold a grand funeral.
Therefore, if you love your parents, let them know now. Yes, they DO miss you! We might have grown up believing that our parents are superheroes or robots, but deep down inside them is a beating heart, waiting for you to reach out to them. So, spend more time with them while you still can.
My Mother, My Life
Bridging the Generation Gap
My One-Eyed Mother
Authors: Tey Sze Chze & Genevieve Tan Shu Thung
Copyright © 2012 Sandhya Maarga Holistic Living Resources
Holistic Living Annex (Volume 1, Issue 5 - JUNE 2012 Edn)
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